there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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