we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
