If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
then he tried to convert me to islam
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
