is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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