How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
