He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
