well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
