never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
