singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
