Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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