he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
