That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
