you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
