I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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