I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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