The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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