I hate all girls vehemently.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
