dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
