his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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