I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize