Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
