My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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