He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
