Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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