...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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