clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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