She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
