i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
