Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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