the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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