So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
