Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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