I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
