she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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