Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
