watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
