when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
