Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
