yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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