Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
