I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
