Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
