Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my being single is dangerous.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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