You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
