trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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