the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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