Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
