i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
