Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize