what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
