The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
