i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
