I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
