I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
