We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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