I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
