im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
