dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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