You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
how drunk are you?
Several
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
