Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize