its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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