They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
