We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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