the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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