So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
