Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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