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dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
