hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
