you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize