ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We need a shit load of segways right now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think i just lost a toe
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
