I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
