talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You made out with two different species that night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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