He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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