You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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