Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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