You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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