is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize